In a vain and shameless bid to attract more viewers to this blog I have decided to write some erotic fiction.
"I don't think I can do this." Said Harry with nervousness tightening his throat. "I just don't think it's my kind of thing.." He gulped.
Valerie gave him a cold stern look, in that way that she always did.
Stood on the other side of the bed, her hands on her hips, Val gave Harry a raised eyebrow and said "Of course you can."
"You agreed to do this Harry. At least give it a try."
Harrys shoulders sagged and he nodded in agreement.
"It'll all end in tears." He moaned.
"Just follow my lead..." said Val as she bent over the bed. "...And do as your told!"
Harry could never be described as an alpha male and today was not a day to start new trends. But he wanted to please his wife of 27 years and always thought he was open to new experiences.
Mere minutes past before Harry found himself quickly getting out of breath.
"I'm getting cramp!" He yelped.
"Don't be silly" growled Val who was already getting fed up of her husbands clumsy - so called - technique.
"Shall I grab hold of this.." He offered helpfully
"Finger tips Harry - FINGERS TIPS!" Snapped Val.
This was not going well at all.
"Be gentle with that!" She barked.
Harry lost his grip and fumbled underneath the duvet.
His muffled apologies could be heard far below in the darkness, but Val simply shook her head at her husbands miserable efforts.
"Honestly, Harry. It's not that difficult y'know."
Elbows shuffled and cheeks turned red as they both writhed about on the bed.
"I think my legs are going to give way" Shrieked Harry.
"For goodness sake man!" Val sighed.
"Just grab hold of the teats and give them a good pull." She ordered.
Harry's eyes nearly popped out of his head , but he did as we was told gave it his all.
"Now give it a quick wipe down with your hands." Said Val as she leaned back.
"I have to do this on my own, normally y'know!"
Harry flopped down on the bed face down. Sweat dripping from face and stung his eyes.
"That wasn't so bad was it?" Val asked.
"No dear." He replied through gasping breaths.
"I never knew changing the bed sheets could so exhausting."
And with the house hold chores done, Val and Harry went down stairs and had a well deserved cup of tea and custard cream.